It is better to give than receive

"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." Acts 2:42-47

I didn't want to write this. No, I did want to write it, but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to write it well enough to do it justice. But I gave up waiting for divine inspiration, sat down on my couch with a pillow and a few Triscuits, and set myself to the task of telling you all about the beauty I have been a part of this week.

Last Thursday I was out to eat with my Youth Minister in Dallas, and when I left and drove to work, I reached back under my passenger seat to grab my backpack. To my shock, it was not there. I knew immediately that someone had broken into my car and taken the bag, containing my laptop computer with pictues, creative writing, and a semester of Seminary, none of which I had backed up. In just a few moments I had lost so much! I cried, talked to policemen, cried some more, talked to my dad and a good friend, cried more, and went home. There I had some time to sit and think about what had happened.

The policemen had said to me, "It's just things. They can be replaced," and I thought, "No, it isn't just things. It's pictures and all of my creative writing, poems, stories, and my notes from 3 months of class! How can you say 'just thing?!'" But as I sat and looked over the city of Dallas and prayed and cried, I realized that I was wrong. Those are just things. Just because something is irreplaceable doesn't make it any more eternal. I lost things, that's all. As I sat there, my Lord comforted me, and I knew it was okay to be sad for awhile about the things I had lost, but never to pity myself or to let my eyes fall away from what is eternal.

I had a lot to do that night in terms of getting notes from people, emailing my professors, figuring out how on earth to afford a new computer, etc. Instead, I baked banana bread for my roommates and neighbors. Baking was good therapy, you should try it.

The next morning, just before chapel, a friend of mine approached me and told me that she, along with 6 other of my good friends, wanted to do something for me. The eight of us had been planning a roadtrip to Colorado in which we would all pile into one car and live on PB and J, stay with my uncle, and just enjoy one another. They decided to cancel the trip and instead donate the money we would spend on gas to helping me get a new computer. Instead of going to Colorado, we would plan 3 full days of community and fun in Dallas. You can imagine my total shock. I didn't want to take it, to be honest. It is better to give, and difficult to receive. I mean, I need a computer, but surely God would provide in another way. As I prayed about it I asked, "Really, Lord?! Is this how you want to provide?! These are SEMINARY students! They do not have excess money!" But as I prayed alone and with them, we decided that this was the best decision. We cried and hugged, and the joy and love in this group was incredible. Later, another saint called to say that whatever we could not pay for he would help with. How can I express how humbled I was? I can only pray, and never repay.

It was worth it, to lose the computer, and all of the files on it, to see Acts 2 lived out in these people. I lost some pictures, funny movies, some writing. But I've never taken a picture as beautiful as the love in their eyes. And I've never written a poem that moved anyone as much as the words, "We want to help you," moved me.

God has given me so much. A computer is great, but He owns everything! He has given me something better- supportive friends, the chance to go to an incredible school to learn how to handle His word better, and most imporantly, a redeemed, restored relationship with Him. I pray this story gets used up. I pray that my friends have needs soon that I can help meet. I pray that because of this, people will come to know my God. I am so in love with Him, it hurts.

May He cause His face to shine upon you,
Abby

The Good Life?

If some people (Brent McKinney), think that I am going to post every day my musings on life, those people are mistaken! Surely you have better things to read daily than my thoughts (try Brent's blog, the BBC news, or Till We Have Faces, by C.S. Lewis)... so I am going for once a week! And that is pretty dang good if you ask me.

DTS has been good, and hard. But honestly, I am thriving here. My respect for and reverence of God's word is growing so much, and I am more convinced than EVER (in spite of very difficult questions) that I am serving the one true God, and that his Bible is inspired. At the same time, I am filled with questions about this life I am living, and how to live it WELL. There are so many needs in this world, in this country, in Dallas, in the library I am sitting in right now, that my heart hurts. Just this week I read about forced prostitution in Thailand where girls and boys younger than I had fathomed are sold into the sex trade. Later I read about how 1500 languages in Africa still have not one book of the bible. Then I think about my neighbor, a full time student who has four kids, a wife whose health is faltering, and is unable to find a job... it can get overwhelming...

"Only one life, twill soon be past. Only what's done for Christ will last." My friend Bill prefers to say "in" Christ, and I think I like his revision. My heart breaks for the people in need around me, and I commit my life to loving others as best as I know how, but always, ALWAYS for the sake of, and IN, Christ. God did not create me to run around like a chicken with my head cut off "meeting needs." He created me to LOVE Him, and to love others. I cannot do the latter when I neglect the first, and furthermore, there is no joy in it.

I heard someone once say, "The only Christian leader I know of who didn't have a 'gottago gottago gotta save the world' Messiah complex was, in fact, The Messiah!" Jesus rested. He talked, he had relationships. He went away by himself for awhile. He did not life a frantic life. But lest we read this and use it as an excuse for "selfishness," let's remember his sacrifice. He created the world, and then entered into it as a man. He knit people together, and they crucified him. No, Jesus did not live a frantic life. But he did lead a life of loving sacrifice. Oh, how I long for my life to look like his! For today, the only thing I know is I must spend time with him, and pray as I try to love others well.

Please pray for me as I look for direction and guidance, and as I seek to put Christ first in all I do. Pray for yourself too! Also, please look up around you, at the woman in the checkout line in the grocery store, at your neighbor, at your children. What needs to they have? Could God be calling you to serve them by helping to meet them? Oh, how I love Jesus! If you know him, I pray you walk closely with him today. If you don't, please email or call me and we can talk, or ask someone you think might know.

I'm sorry for this being a bit preachy! It was more like "thoughts" than an update. But whatever!
May God be glorified in all we say and do!