Grace, grace, grace

I figured since I listed my blogspot on my most recent update letter I should probably... write something.

A quick update: Today is April 15th, and that means that in 22 days I will have completed my first year at Seminary. Supposedly that means I have half-mastered something. I hope my future employers will forgive me for what I'm about to say: I'm not sure I'm going to have quite mastered anything by the time I get out of here. But I am learning. I'm in Trinitarianism, Soteriology, Old Testament I, and Intercultural Communications. Just one of those subjects would be enough to occupy my heart and mind, and with all of them, I am busting at the seams. But I am so happy, so thankful to be here. I know it is useless to try to absorb absolutely everything that I learn. So I'm just praying that my heart stays soft in the midst of all this head learning.

God has faithfully answered that prayer all year long. He wants my devotion to be fully His. He wants to be first in my heart. And I want Him there too. If my heart starts to harden, or I wander, He gets my attention. Sometimes it's painful. Sometimes it's really painful. But nothing satisfied but Jesus, so the stripping away is good. How many times will we have to be taught this lesson? How many times will I attempt to place my trust in something else?

A friend of mine told that one time she was holding hands with her boyfriend. For some reason or another, she let go, and his grip immediately tightened. She told me it reminded her of God. When we let go, He doesn't. He grips us. I am so thankful, and so held by Him.