Words

I need the world to stop, to pause so that my heart can catch up. I find myself today left in the dust. I am standing still and this heart warming, breath stealing world is swirling around me. All I can do is watch things pass in wonder, close my eyes when it is to much to take in, and laugh and cry in exuberance. Christ said, “Peace be with you,” and this helps.

Hanneke Cassel, a folk fiddle player came to L’Abri with her fiddle and her heavy metal guitar playing accompanist, and I sat three feet from them for over an hour as they played. From the first note she called from her fiddle, it seemed as though a ribbon flowed from the guitar and pierced me, sweeping me (a willing captive) into its power. If the fiddle wept, so did I, if it danced, I laughed, and when I closed my eyes, I flew through green misty Scottish moors, into my own lungs, and memories of times I have failed or won. I wished I could die right then. I thought, “We talk too much. This is beauty, and I talk too much.” Enclosed by music on all sides, losing myself in its call, I felt pulled back to earth by a tinge of jealousy, and I opened my tear filled eyes to look at Hanneke. She was commanding, or maybe serving, a language I could not use. I could receive it, be spoken to by it, but not speak through it. I am a writer, and am bound to and by words, but she said something deeper with her fiddle than I can say now.

Still, I want to play my part and add something beautiful to the world, even if just to the blog world. Yesterday I read Window Poems by Wendell Berry and he wrote about the winter. He said of the trees letting go of their leaves, “The country opens to the sky...” I have been dreading the bare limbs of the trees that have been so royally decked in fire and gold, but Mr. Berry gave me something to hope for- the sky. And as I walked yesterday and today by the reservoir, I have found it to be true. I can see birds nests, and I can see twenty feet into the woods where I could only see five before. How joyful to have something to look forward to, the beauty of the winter. I am not at home with my Big Texas Sky and this growing winter cover consoles me.

That is all of my part I can play now. Grace to you, and Peace.