s.l.o.w.i.n.g..... d.o.w.n.....

Every day you and I are assailed by billboards, radio, demands from school or work, etc. We are over-committed, over-stimulated, and often find ourselves rushing through a world of colors and noises, not able to take any of it in. Because I want to write, I'm forced to slow down a bit. You can't write what you don't see, and seeing takes time. Plus God has taught me that I lose my sanity if I don't stop everything every day to read His word, to journal, to push everything aside and rest in Him.

The last few years I have had this daily slow time with Him, but then usually when I close my journal or bible, or when I get in the car to leave the lake, the rush begins. I haphazardly slam together my day, skipping and flying from event to event, baking without measuring, driving without getting directions first, sending letters without stamps... etc. I knew this about myself, and in a way enjoy living life like this. It creates some interesting moments. But this past month the situation has taken such a drastic downhill turn that I've had to reassess my ways. Here are a series of things that happened which culminated in this blog, and the realization that I MUST slow down.

1) A few weeks ago, I lost the entrance key to my apartment building and parking lot. For three weeks, until I could buy a new one, I had to wait outside the parking lot until another car came and rush in after them, or else call my manager to let me in.
2) A week after that, I lost my license. I lost my license because I had used it to get into the gym because I had lost my student I.D. card. Seeing a pattern here?
3) A few days later I lost my keys. I thought I had thrown them into my trunk and then shut it. I called roadside assistance to get them to help me, but ended up finding them in a decorative basket on my desk. I had somehow managed to bury them under a picture frame, a stuffed animal, and jewelry. Why, oh why, would I have done this?
4) Around that time, I started getting into tea drinking because I could feel the stress building, and thought it might relieve me a bit. I was making honey orange spice something or other tea for my roommate and me, and leaned over too far into the stove and caught my scarf on fire... yes, me in the kitchen in flames. Not too much harm done, it actually added to the character of an already fringy scarf... but still...
5) The final blow came last night. I went camping this weekend with some friends, and last night we sat around a campfire cooking and singing and just enjoying each other in the moment. A girl beckoned me to come from across the fire pit, and without a thought I stepped into a pile of burning coals. Um, are you kidding me? Worse, I did not even realize it until someone pointed out that my shoes were smoking. I looked down and had burned a hole into my brand new running shoes. This was a hundred dollar misstep. (I had been waiting for the shoes for a month, and my parents got them for me for my birthday). I had to excuse myself and swallow an egg sized lump in my throat.

After this event, I saw two options. One, throw myself into a pit of despair at my apparent complete lack of stewardship and responsibility. Two, ask what God might be trying to teach me. I'm going with number two for now. See, I love my life, and I want to do things well. I'm learning in my classes, absorbing everything I can from older women, trying to be effective and humble in ministry, attempting to meet needs around me, but I know that I have GOT to slow down a bit. If catching two items of clothing on fire within a week won't teach you that, I don't know what will.

So I'm done running again for the time being, both physically and metaphorically. The former because of a new found lack of footwear, the latter because if I keep going this fast, I will miss important details like rent due dates and... things being on fire...

Please pray for me in this slowing down endeavor. You slow down too, and for goodness sake, turn off the radio in the car to think about where you've been and where you're going. Forgive the preaching, but let's help each other out a bit.